Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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