I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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