The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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