Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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